Project: Coffee Date

Hey Suckers, this is Hudson.

I'm today's guest blogger, so prepare yourself for some serious commentary here.

You should know a few things about me:

1. I'm a giver. I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.

2. My hero is Tim Gunn from Project Runway.

3. My style is best portrayed by Mason Dissick.

4. I am passionate about environmental law.

-AND-

5. To pay rent, I do contract writing for multiple blogs.

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So today, my mom gave me a list of topics I could choose from.  The choices were awful-picking the best of the worst is THE WORST!

So I told her that she is an embarassment to mankind and filed my complaints regarding her coffee table.

It was horrible. 

NO style, no order-just a major cluster.

So I told her that as a pro-bono {is that how you spell it?} charitable act, I would offer my decorating services and give the old table a little spuce up.

So as the fabulous Fergie says...

Let's get it started in here!!

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I am under the firm belief that fake plants are on the "Top 10 Most AWFUL creations on this planet" list. However, I also am under the firm belief that I've never met a boxwood plant {fake or real} that I can say no to.

I sent the mother figure to Homegoods with a list and surprisingly, she came home with a few things I could work with.

On a side note, I just imagined this to be a Project Runway challenge {HEY TIM!!}. I mean, I can only work so many miracles with junk, people.

So with a little spramphing {a word from the most amazing man ever-Jack McFarland from Will & Grace}, I just threw together this little arrangement.

Also, there isn't a tray or oversized bowl I can't work with.

Please don't be intimidated by my mastery of the decorating world.

I'm available for contracts starting February-I'm going to Arizona to a "Relaxation Retreat" {rehab people, okay?}.